Recently, I read an article dealing with gender roles and how all too often girls are pegged into the "play mommy," "be a princess," or "play with barbies" categories. The article went on to further say that these gender roles are dangerous to the developing child and their perception of what it means to be a girl (or a boy.) It also said that only gender neutral ideas should be placed in child's head an that both types of gender toys should be included as a default, no matter what the child may show interest in. In my experience, I find this to be bull. I think gender roles have a certain cred. to them. I also don't think they have to be forced to be applicable. I don't recall my mom or dad EVER telling me I had to like pink, wear dresses (except to church because that's how church was back then,) or play princess. I liked pink when I was little, but later, my favorite color was green. It was green for well into early high school years when it morphed into purple, hot pink, black, and white. To this day, I love purple and hot pink.
I rarely played princess growing up. I always wanted to be queen. Heh. We actually used to play what my sister, Hannah, refers to as "Amelia." I was around 12 or so. My sister, Kristin, was 11. Hannah was around 3. I was the queen, Kristin was the princess, and Hannah was the servant girl. Now, don't be alarmed about what I'm going to say next. Hannah, always played the part of Amelia, the servant girl...naked. She was the kid who would shed her clothes shortly after we put them on her. We have a video of her naked with her butt in the air digging in the garden and playing with the hose. No lie. She's 16 now and probably LOVES that I'm sharing this with you, but nonetheless, it happened! Anyway, so Hannah always was Amelia, the naked servant girl. She sometimes wore an apron, if I could convince her to do so. We all loved this game! Hannah loved getting us drinks, "sweeping," fanning us, etc. SHE would ask to play this game, and being such good big sisters, Kristin and I were always willing. :-D That's about as close to playing princess as Kristin and I really got.
Kristin and I played Barbies like it was our job. We also played school quite often. We loved our American Girl dolls (I have Samantha, Kristin has Kirsten and Hannah has Kit.) We liked going on adventures in the woods down by the creek. We rode our horse. We had picnics. We played sports (I was a softball and basketball gal. Kristin was a cheerleader and soccer player. Hannah is a swimmer and soccer player.) Kristin and I went through a power ranger and teenage mutant ninja turtles phase. We loved Batman, Gargoyles is still, to this day, one of my favorite cartoons. We also loved Carebears, Polly Pockets, and Lizzie McGuire. We are all girls. We all liked girly and non-girly things.
Today, my sister Kristin, is 24 and a crunchy hippy. Ha. Ok. Not exactly...but close. She loves hiking, camping, music festivals, etc. and she's still very feminine. Hannah is 16 and is a HUGE flirt. She loves color guard, tutus, and really crappy music. (She doesn't think it's crappy, though.) She can get down and dirty working in the garden and doesn't bat an eye. I am a 25 year old wife who adores her husband. I love sparkles, babies, and crafting/sewing. I hate being sweaty/dirty, but if it's serving others or improving my life, I am more than willing. We all were raised the same way, in the same house, by the same parents, with the same values, and with pretty much the same toys. We are not defined by our gender, but we all seem to embrace being female, while not being over the top girly girls. (As I discussed this post with the hubs and Hannah, we came to the conclusion that at this stage in life, I am by far the most girly girl out of the three sisters.)
What do you think of traditional gender roles? Do you feel like the psychological community is putting too much emphasis on not defining gender roles or not enough? Do you feel like society forces us into gender roles? Remember, no opinion is better than another, just don't expect me to agree with you, if our opinions differ! ;-)
Oooooooh goodness. Gender roles lol
ReplyDeleteHaving a husband who is in a Ph.D. program in Sociology, this comes up all. the. time. Poor guy went to a sociology conference and went to a restaurant he knew I would love (The Stinking Rose, all garlic, all the time!). So he bought me a fancy garlic press. He was immediately labeled a sexist pig by his colleagues (male and female) because he bought something that would clearly bind me to the highly genderized role of "cooking housewife" *shudder*
He's the type that just lets stuff like that roll off his back, but I was upset for him. He didn't buy me the garlic press because I'm a WOMAN! He bought it because he knows I use garlic all the time and would LOVE a cool, new gadget! What's funny is my brother (a boy, duh) would have equally loved it.
I don't think we should force little girls to play with dolls, tutus and tiaras anymore than we should force them to play in dirt with dump trucks. Let them do what they love, whatever that may be. They're kids!
PHEW! Ok, I could go on and on about this issue since it's in my face at every sociology function we attend, but I'll stop for now haha
Oh Jenn- You reflect my heart on this issue! :-) I agree! Let them eat cake!! :-)
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I mean... I do think there is a balance. Whether people like to admit it, boys and girls are different. Our bodies are built differently and were created to have different functions. The way we think is different, how we respond emotionally to the same thing is different. That is not socially constructed. Don't get me wrong, I can see where people would argue that emotions can be socially constructed. But when you get down to the nitty gritty, do boys have emotional mood swings every month? No. Because they don't have the same hormones and bodily functions we girls are... blessed (?)... with. (haha) No social construction there.
ReplyDeleteYes, society jokes and emphasizes the female crazy during that time of the month, but it would be there regardless.
I don't think stereotypes should be forced on boys or girls, but I do think there is a definite value in girls understanding what it means to be a woman. It's also equally important that boys understand what it means to be a man (and I don't mean all the macho stuff).
Whether psychology/sociology wants to admit it or not, there IS a difference between the genders. It's not a bad thing. It's about balance. I loved playing with my dolls, but I also loved to go outside and play in the dirt with my brother. Jon will kill me for this... but he would sit and have tea parties with our stuffed animals just as often as we'd go out and have paintball wars. Neither of those change my femininity any more than it changes his masculinity.
Ok, I have to get ready for work! Like I said, I have so many thoughts on this topic (that I didn't even realize I had!!)
I always liked to play princess . . . warrior princess. I climbed trees, walked on walls, played in the mud, threw rocks at boys, fashioned bows and arrows, and bravely led my friends on adventures in the "wild" territory near my home (actually an undeveloped plot of land). Also LOVED pink, greatly enjoyed putting on poofy dresses, dreamed of unicorns and fairies . . . I was a big revoltijo (as they say in Mexico), a jumble of boyish and girly stereotypes. I suppose it must be said, though, that I was also VERY WEIRD. Think Luna Lovegood, but hyper.
ReplyDeleteI haven't really changed much, except that my interests are a little more "adult" now. I put some stock in traditional gender roles, but not very much. I think people are people, and that their gender plays one part in many of what kind of person they turn out to be.
I guess that answer isn't quite as in-depth as you wanted, but I just thought I'd share what I was like and a brief opinion of what I think. :-)
By the way, I only wore the poofy dresses for playing princess or church. Hated them any other time. Lol. The truth must be told.
ReplyDelete@Jenn- Totally get what you're saying and COMPLETELY agree!
ReplyDelete@Tabi- I love what you wrote! I can totally see you doing all of those things! Thanks for the input! I truly value everyone's opinions!
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I agree that people are people and regardless, they're going to gravitate towards what they like. It's what makes us special. I have 2 brothers and I'm thankful that I grew up knowing about sports and what boys were like, but I still played house, school, dress up, and barbies.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a cook by any means, but I do like to bake and my poor husband usually has to whip up dinner. And we have a 15-month-old girl who plays with cars, a farmhouse, blocks, and anything else she can get her hands on. She's clearly a lil girl, but we don't force anything on her.
Oh man. I had it all, hotwheels, barbies, dinosaurs were my favorites. I was a huge tomboy. Running barefoot in the woods! Raven has a penis making him a boy. Therefore, he has boy toys. If he wanted something else, that's fine. If I have a girl, she will be in dresses and in pink. If she wants dinosaurs and hot wheels, then she can have them! I don't think playing gender neutral is the way to go. But to each their own.
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