I am pleased to announce that today marks a very monumental day for Angela's Favorite Things! Today is the first guest post we've ever had. Who better to write a guest post than that author of The Vance View, my husband, the hubs, Vance? I've tried to keep you all updated on our TTC journey with the most recent info, feelings, potential conceptions, etc. Well, what has been lacking is a male prospective! I cannot express what my husband is feeling along the way any better than he can fully express what I'm feeling/thinking. In this three-part segment, Vance, the hubs, will share his point of view on our TTC efforts and his role in getting tested!
xo,
Angela
Tune in tomorrow to read Part II of this three part guest series to read about Vance's anticipation leading up to the whole testing process!
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Before my wife and I got married, we
talked about the future, but the one subject that kept coming up was
kids. We both wanted them. The question was when? We discussed birth
control for the first year and also having kids right away. After
thinking about it, I knew what I wanted. At 30 years old, I didn’t
really want to wait very long. The way I looked at it was once we got
married in June, it was less than two months before I was 31. If we
waited a year, I would be 32 when we started trying, and I really
didn’t want to be a first time father at 33 or 34. So the decision
was made! We were going for it; we wouldn’t get on the birth
control train. We wanted to enjoy each other, and enjoy being
newlyweds, but we wanted to get pregnant too.
So off we went! For the first couple of
months we didn’t worry about cycles and ovulation, or anything of
that sort. Then as the weeks and months went on, we started to get a
little discouraged. I secretly felt like a huge failure as a man and
husband. My wife, on the other hand, went to town on the research. We
both knew she wasn’t the most regular when it came to that “time”
of the month, but we pressed on. Now, as any couple that has issues
conceiving knows all too well, the act of making a baby stops being
fun after about the fifth failed attempt and turns into pressure and
disappointment. As a man, it is also a huge hit to the ego, I know
that’s how I felt anyway. It started to get harder and harder to
get into the mood, and I started to get very depressed. At the time, I didn't express this to anybody, not even Angela.
Then, this past summer, we really
thought we were pregnant! It was well past “that” time of the
month, and I just knew we had finally succeeded! We went out and
bought the "family pack" of pregnancy tests, but everyday was the same...no period and a negative test. I’d be lying if I said my heart
didn’t break every time she said negative again. We talked to a ton
of people that had the same issue, store bought tests coming up
negative. We needed to get a real test, but unfortunately my
company’s pathetic insurance plan makes it impossible to insure my
wife. We researched alternative options. We found that there are a
lot of resources available if you just look. So, the next step was
going to a place that specialized in this. We found a pregnancy
center that was right down the street and we went right in. My hopes
were quickly crushed when that test came up negative as well. At this
point I wanted to dig a hole and jump in it. I was so down it wasn’t
even funny, but I had to be strong, or at least I thought I did. We
asked the lady in charge, Nancy, where we could get a blood drawn test
for cheap. She gave us the number of a place that would do this. The
name is Southside United Health and Wellness Center. After getting
lost more than once, we finally found the place and went in to get
the test. This was my last hope of good news, and I needed it at that
point. It took around 3 days to get the results…NEGATIVE!! The
disappointment on my beautiful wife’s face was almost too much to
bear! I have never felt like that in my life! I wanted to scream, cry, and curse at God so bad at that point in time. My anger was close to
getting the best of me. I know now that it was more hurt and sadness
than anger, but hindsight is 20/20.
Our next step was making her lady exam
appointment, which we did. When the day came, I went with her, and
that is when the doctor gave us the name of a lab that could test my
swimmers. Now I am really nervous! This ordeal has been very
difficult for the both of us. But to find out it is my "fault"...that is
something I don’t want to think about. So I really hope they swim
like Michael Phelps, and not sink like the Greek economy.
(This post was written Nov. 7.)
Hey! Give my wife a vote for being so awesome!
