How Do You Know?

I've had babies/toddlers/preschoolers on the brain lately! Wait...what else is new, right? Well, lately, instead of being like "OOOO I want to buy this for our future baby!" I'm like "OOO...I bet a foster child could benefit from this!" ...Wait a minute...What? Who am I these days? That doesn't sound like me. That doesn't sound like something I could've or would've THOUGHT, let alone said aloud to Vance, my foster-care-hearted husband, 6-12 months ago.

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So what has changed??

For starters, my heart. God has been working in/on my heart since the moment I met Vance. Of this, I have no doubt. On our first date, he told me about how his siblings were adopted! "Great!" I thought. "I love adoption! I have a passion for adoption! Wait? What's that? Adopted through foster care? Come again?" He explained how they had fostered lots and lots of children throughout their years of living in Ohio and in Greensboro. "Interesting, but scary..." I thought. I hadn't even heard the crazy stories of children trying to eat the family cat, having to be restrained and held down in order to go to sleep, being born addicted to crack, etc. yet. (They saved those stories until AFTER Vance and I were engaged/married! Those sneaky Bailey's...)

I honestly never thought foster care would be something I was interested in. Sure, I always thought the foster parents were strong people. I always admired them. I always felt badly for the children in the foster care system. I always felt badly for the bio parents who had to work so hard (but sometimes not hard enough) to get their kids back because of mistakes they've made. I've always felt so badly for the social workers who worked WAY TOO HARD for their menial paychecks. BUT, I never felt like I would EVER...IN A MILLION, BILLION YEARS...want to become a foster parent.

Well...apparently...I was wrong. (For like the first time ever...ok...maybe second time!)

Vance mentioned to me, about a year ago, that we should look into doing foster care. I humored him, but internally, I thought, "Yeah right! I am not cut out for this! I am too young. Too unqualified. Too impatient with political garbage. Not skilled in dealing with "unbalanced" children. Not enough." (Not enough? Satan has been telling me that my ENTIRE life!!! I should have recognized those feelings of inadequacy right out off the bat, but I did not.) So, I told him I didn't feel like it was the right time for us (read: me) and that I'd consider it again in the future.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago! Vance broached the idea of foster care again...but in passing. It flipped a switch in my brain, so I looked into it and went into research mode. (Have I ever mentioned I research the crap out of things when I want to know more about it??) I found out there is a class coming up in September that is required in order to become a foster parent. 30 hours is required, plus 10 every year after that, for licensing. You also have to pass a home study, which includes a safe living environment, fire inspection, etc. You have to be able to support yourself and your family BEFORE being qualified for foster care. You can't have petitioned for emergency help with living expenses in at least a year. Etc. Etc. Etc. The foster care system is pretty intense in qualifications of becoming a foster parent. However, we meet all of the check marks we need to qualify.

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"Hmm..." I reflected. "Maybe it's time...Wait what??? It's time? To foster? But I've never felt like foster care was for me! What in the world is going on inside my head?" I struggled with these thoughts for a day or two, not mentioning them to Vance until I resolved some things in my head/heart and with God. (I kind of understand what it was like for Jacob to wrestle with God now...even though mine wasn't a physical encounter...and he didn't karate chop my hip!)

I feel like it is time. It's time to start this process. Vance and I have discussed it thoroughly. He's ready for kids to be in our house, whether or not we get to keep them. We definitely want to adopt through foster care. We'd prefer to only take in kids that are likely to become adoptable, but (and I'm not fully convinced of this yet) Vance said he's ok with taking in kids if it's short term, too. (My reply to this being...honey...it's foster care. You know that they may say two weeks and it turns into 8 months!) I feel not only like foster care is something we should pursue, but it's something we should pursue NOW. I feel a sense of urgency about this. Last night, I spoke to Vance about the urgency that's been placed on my heart. I told him that I'm not sure if the urgency is because our baby is coming home to us soon or because there's a child in foster care that's going to need us, but I feel like we should definitely be taking the next round of classes and get this ball rolling ASAP.

Wow! Who'd have thunk that I'd be so passionate about foster care? There is a LOT of uncertainty and a LOT of apprehension in my heart due to my own semi-fear of the unknown, BUT I do know that this is something we're supposed to do, so I have a sense of peace about it, too! Not I! We'd appreciate any happy/warm thoughts and/or prayers you guys can offer for us! 

If you could take 2 seconds and give this a click, it would mean so much to me! Thank you!!